Thursday, December 4, 2008, 01:25 PM GMT [General]
Can one ever be truly satisfied?
I have had crushes on people in the past, sometimes I didn't realize I had the crush until years later. I had a burning crush on a girl named Joyce who had a crush on a man who gave her an STD and blamed her. I put up with her cousins and babysat her child, anything to get her to like me. It didn't;t happen.
When I was young, a gay women friend of mine said she had a crush on me, she was in love with her ex who she shared a house with and the woman's current lover. She paid rent cooked and cleaned, basically a housemaid for her ex and her lover. The situation made me crazy.
A married co-worker told me she liked me, I was married at the time She became a stalker and while she was very nice to my wife,she told me she wanted a relationship. I finally got rid of her by trying to take her into a gay bar. ( I was very uncomfortable going into gay bars ,back in those days)
Today, the lover of a dear friend has a crush on me. They are both nice gentlemen but from the moment my friend is looking away, the hands, the hugs make me very uncomfortable. He had pictures of me in his office. My friend is very aware of the crush and reminds me of it from time to time. I make it a point not to be alone with this man. In fact, while I have grown to love him as a friend, I don't visit their home often.
On one hand, I guess I should be flattered. that someone finds this 370 pound man attractive, but what I feel and have felt is discomfort. I am aware of every move and every conversation, working hard not to give the impression that there is interest. Despite his relationship with my friend, it doesn't seem to matter and that was true with the young woman.
I'm not an angel, but I can't imagine having an affair... Having deep feelings for someone when I'm with someone.
Who:30 year old, New York Giant Receiver "Plaxico Burress" earns 7 million dollars per year.
What: Took a gun into a Manhattan nightclub. said he needed the gun for protection) The gun slipped down his pants and when he reached for it...Went off and shot him in the thigh. (A few inches could have ended another career)
When: Sun Night Nov 30, NYC
Why: He convinced security he needed the Gun For protection (he was wearing a lot of expensive jewelry and carrying a lot of cash.
What does this all mean? His career maybe over as he is in violation of the National Football League Policy on gun possession. There is pressure from the Mayor's office and he may do jail time. At the very minimum this will cost him 7 million dollars.
POOR MISUNDERSTOOD "PIAXICO"
While I am sure, he will hire the best mouthpieces he can (who wouldn't) to re shape his story into one that would pull the heart strings of most americans. And I am sure he has many fans who will justify his actions. We may learn from an abusive past. the truths of his troubles as an NFL player will be suppressed and perhaps at the end of this, he will say he has learned his lesson and this could become an ABC after school special.
COMMON SENSE ISN'T COMMON
For a year, after several speeding tickets , I drove like a little old lady, five miles below the speed limit because my driver license was on the line. But there are some, who despite the consequences throw caution to the wind. These actions are common to members (but not limited)of my sex.. As unfair as it may seem Celebrities are offered special privileges, (free cars to Robin Williams and family during the filming of Mrs Doughtfire in San Francisco). How many citizens would have been allowed to take fire arms into that nightclub? Will this be a lesson for Mr Burress? who knows, there seems to be a wildfire heading his way, to make an example of him . Maybe dressing down is in order, re-think that diamond watch before heading out. But at the end of the day (like the rest of us) it is HIS actions that will determine HIS future.
So many of my blogs are based on conversations with friends.
Nipples are interesting nerve endings.... Some are hypersensitive, others are less so, and then there are those with no sensitivity.
Those people with hypersensitive nipples, a little licking, some or no pulling and absolutely no biting. Then there are others who like their nipples pulled hard, bitten hard. Then the last category is why are you here?
My nipples are in the hyper category, certain cotton shirts can cause my eyes to roll back ( I'm ending here)
Years ago, there was a comedian on BET who talked about nipples and how some men without warning bite down on them. Her response was grabbing her breast and calling 911... She said, what if I pulled your balls and stretched them across the rooms, I might find that hott .
WE are all different....
A good lover in my opinion would start gently and watch and wait to be prompted by his lover.
But,I have had people chop down on my nipples as if they hadn't eaten for week and despite what I would say start looking for knife and fork.
It took nearly two weeks of intense therapy,and counseling to get my nipples to agree to return to my chest.
Like a lot of people, I've grown fond of my nipples, its reassuring to see them stare back at me in the mirror.there, sometimes their happy, other times not so.... But hey, there mine. They're my twin towers and I'm used to seeing them.
One evening, after gently pleading with a lover, to lick and not bite and pull my fists stood up for my tits...
All of a sudden he thought he was Mike Tyson, and bit the **** out of the left tower, the right fist reacted, hitting the temple. Needless to say, the event was over, the right tower was pleased.
Thursday, November 20, 2008, 02:18 PM GMT [General]
Where is he? Here on Kingz Place or some other site, Craigslist, standing in the corner at some bar. ? There aren't many gay relationship books where to find men.. A lot of us find ourselves holding down a seat at some sorry dive and others find ourselves at other unfortunate places looking for him, only to come up with a few minutes or a night of something.
If you live in a big city, sex is easy.. If you stay online long enough you will become an expert at the game.
You meet, the brief awkwardness, the clothes fall off and its over. Your not likely to see him again, until your online and then he or you may not be interested, wanting a new conquest. Then there is a the bar...waiting for the glance...or taking charge (taking risks) "hey you wanna?
I have found transferring anonymous sex to friendship difficult. Outside (and sometimes inside) of bed, you find you have little in common.. There are some (as the great Rick James said) are not the kind you'd want to bring home to mama. After all, for the most part all you've talked about it sex, who knows, who cares if he's Republican or Democrat, a stalker or murderer, (you never asked) u want him to show up and lay it down.
For years anonymous sex is all I wanted and needed.
One day, I wanted more... I wanted him to stay over, and perhaps the day....
While there a thousands of men who are online and hundreds in the bars , most are looking for Mr. Right Now. Conversation is limited to "Are you a top or bottom and how big is it?" Then there are those who are so hungry for love that their bags are always packed, waiting for someone to say, I love you and here's your key.
I've yet to find that long term monogamous relationship (four or more years) that originated in a bar or online.
A couple of years ago, I was at a Dinner, the this women was talking to her grandmother about men, "There are NO good men around. I have tried everywhere, she said, I've been online, and singles mixers...and I have given up. Her grandmother, said I don't believe in this online stuff, you can't see someones eyes and hear them breathe. You need to come to church, you need to be at some other social things, you need me to ask around like in the old days...she said. "if you don't like the taste of you water-you need to dig another well somewhere else?
In my car, I thought about it, hmm, some times it IS about where you meet people. At the bar and on the net, chances are (knowing my sex) he is looking for a conquest. And if your at a bar with a friend you are subject to **** blocking...
So last year, I said to myself I have to do something different. Being a member of a bear club ,i asked a couple of friends to set me up. I took that ladies advice and met people at readings at Borders and Barnes and Noble, and met people in environment where we already share a common interest. I got brave in other organizations turned on my gaydar and met a couple of nice men. What a difference?
My few minutes became weekends, out of town visits....
While I haven't met "HIM , I've learned that they Men really aren't all the same. It's often based on where your choosing to Find him. (Changing your well) Think shopping, Wal-Mart versus Nordstrom, there is a difference in clientele and attitudes.
Life isn't perfect, and sometime I fall back into old habits.
I believe in using as many resources that is available .
Keep your head up and smile... He is waiting for you.
************************************************************************************************************************************** I will admit having a morbid fascination with one of the bear sites... where someone will announce that he met his the man of his dreams. (he can't believe it) and they are in love and will be in love 4 ever.. (now in my teeny tiny mind-if I've gone online to find him-why don't I get off the site-after all I have found him and the hunt is ovah!) Weeks/months later, same man, same site, has changed his profile which now reads ,that they or he is looking for a third or worse his lover is a jerk and he has returned to the search.
